Depression Sucks

Life is hard. Life without Jesus is even harder. 
I’m a believer, for sure, 100%! Jesus is my Lord. But I don’t always live that way. Sin easily creeps in. Lies begin to penetrate the Armor He has given me. 
How is it that someone can go from such a strong foundation in the Truth to crumbling under the weight of life? How is it that someone can be so sure of God’s calling to wanting to throw in the towel? How do we get so lost from the path that God is leading us on? What is it that causes us to detour? 
How is it that I have ended up in a pit of dark depression when I have walked in His great peace, His beautiful truth, and unfailing love? How did I become so focused on everything except Him? Why am I back in this wretched place; I thought we conquered this once and for all, God.
I may never know the answers to these questions. At least, perhaps, not this side of eternity. 
This is the beginning of a post that I started back in May. God knew where I would be today, writing about that very abyss I had been avoiding over the last year or more…
Several times this year I have been taken to the edge. The very edge of what looks like a black abyss. A place where there is no hope, no peace, no joy. Not death. At least not physical death. Perhaps crossing over the edge could have led to a slow spiritual death. I will never know, because my God is a good God. He is faithful to answer prayers and bring us to place of hope and healing. As a friend reminded me, “Joy comes in the morning. It may not be the next morning. But it may be the morning of whatever season you’ve just come from.”
God is good. (All the time. He never changes). And He is good at being God. It is I who has changed. So where have I gone wrong? 
This is a question only Holy Spirit can answer, and I’m not going to find the answer in my Pastor, or my friends, or my husband. No. This answer needs to come from the Author and Perfecter of my faith, the Finisher of my Salvation, my Rock. My God.
Have you ever come to a place like this?
Remember the Truth. As hard as it may be to stand at all today. Remember you are can stand with His strength, on His truth, and on solid ground.
For God, who said, “Light shall shine out of the darkness,” is the One who has shone in our hearts to give the Light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves; we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken’ struck down, but not destroyed…
(2 Corinthians 4:6-9)
Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and my burden is light.
(Matthew 11:28-30)
Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.
(1 Peter 5:6-7)
For me, I know the His Truth. But I haven’t been living in that Truth. And life circumstances made a storm great enough that I found that black abyss. But God is good, and He is bigger than any storm I will face.

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